The Art of Letting It Hurt

Hi Friends,

This spring has been full of feelings, change, growth, and inspiration. In this newsletter, I’m sharing a new piece called Finding Myself, a creative lesson about letting it hurt, what I’ve been reading, watching, and listening to lately (hello, Bigfoot and Kacey Musgraves), and a peek at what’s growing around here—plus a little update on my upcoming novel.

Let’s get into it!

♡ Caitlyn

🎨 Title: Finding Myself

My new piece, Finding Myself, is all about the spirit inside and its ability to break through. Sometimes I feel like there’s this free bird living in me that just needs to fly. That’s what I was trying to capture here.

It also reminds me a lot of the movie Harold & Maude (one of my all-time favorites), especially when Maude says, “Oh my, how the world still dearly loves a cage.” That line has always stuck with me. And the Cat Stevens song from the soundtrack, “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out,” is represented in this piece too. That song, to me, is all about becoming who you truly are. I think there’s a spirit in all of us, just waiting for a chance to be let out.

I created this piece with a darker tone because there’s something a little melancholic about the idea of the spirit having to break out, rather than being welcomed—which, to me, feels like an honest reflection of the world and the human experience sometimes.

I recently rewatched Caddo Lake (2024) and was reminded why it was one of my favorite films of 2024—actually, it might be one of my favorite films ever. I won’t say too much because I don’t want to spoil the plot, but just know it’ll keep you on the edge of your seat, and the payoff is so worth it.

It’s definitely one for the sci-fi lovers. And while M. Night Shyamalan is better known for Trap in 2024, I honestly think Caddo Lake was his best work of the year.

Wow! Who doesn’t love a great Bigfoot story? I recently read Devolution by Max Brooks and it blew me away. The concept isn’t just original—it’s brilliant.

As a bowhunter, homesteader, and survival enthusiast, I especially appreciated the commentary on modern society and the fragile comforts we take for granted. At the end of the day, what really separates us from nature?

Warning: there are some graphic scenes. But if you're into a perfect mix of horror, cryptids, social commentary, and sci-fi, I highly recommend this one.

I’ve had “The Architect” by Kacey Musgraves on repeat lately. I listened to it a lot when I was pregnant. It captured so much of what I was feeling at the time: the excitement, the anxiety, and the awe of imagining life with a family.

There’s something about the way the song asks, “How does this all happen?” that hits me. Some days, the world feels magical and full of meaning. Other days, it feels overwhelming and impossible to make sense of.

I've been listening to it again this spring, and it’s become a kind of soundtrack to the season. Watching the flowers bloom, feeling the air shift—this song brings it all into focus. Honestly, this song brings tears to my eyes, in the best way.

Creative lesson: The art of letting it hurt.

This week, I had to say goodbye to my dog and best friend of thirteen years, Presley. I’m gutted. Why don’t dogs get to stay with us forever?

I came across a quote that said, “Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong.” I love that.

What I want to share with you, especially those of you who create, is a lesson I’ve learned again and again throughout my art career: don’t shy away from your emotions. When I’m heartbroken or grieving, I sometimes pour those feelings into my art. It’s cathartic but, more than that, it’s often where my most meaningful work comes from.

The creative lesson I keep returning to is this: be vulnerable, even when it feels scary, even when it hurts. Some of my most personal pieces have been the ones that resonate the most with people.

Below are a few photos of life lately. I've really been in mom/business owner mode. Brooks is growing like a weed, and Hank (our new beagle) has officially made himself at home.

The farm is buzzing with life. We planted tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, lettuce, jalapeños, and a few other goodies in our garden this year. And instead of building a pole barn, I’ve decided to build a new office space—more updates on that coming soon!

With spring in full swing, the wildlife has returned in a big way. We’ve had a stunning hawk hanging around (I managed to snap a photo with my camera!), and we’ve also spotted barred owls, bobcats, deer, foxes, possums, raccoons, and more.

I hope this season is bringing beauty and renewal your way, too.

ICYMI - My supernatural thriller debut novel, One Red Arrow, will be released on August 21, 2025! Pre-order link coming soon - I can't wait to share more with you all!